My Biological birth (June 3, 1942) was an "accident" and I was reminded of the fact I was "unwanted" frequently while growing up.
A name was not picked for me until after my birth, and I was named Karl
(German Spelling - I am English, Irish & Cherokee Indian!) after the doctor that delivered me.
My rebirth date of sobriety has much more significance for me than my biological birth because it was the day
I decided I DESERVED to live my life FREE of alcohol!

My mother was a hypochondriac and addicted to barbiturates most of her life.

My biological father was an abusive alcoholic who left my mother and my older brother and older sister and I when I was 2 years of age and (Unknown to me until 14 years later) my mother was pregnant with my younger sister, who was raised by my aunt and uncle (who molested her from an early age) as my "cousin".

My first step-father (and the 3 consecutive ones after him) were all alcoholics also and if not physically abusive, emotionally so.

My older (6 years)brother D.J. received a dishonorable discharge from the navy, became a drug addict and alcoholic and womanizer and adulterer and abuser and I have not seen or heard from him in 25-30 years.

My older (3 years) sister Ginny became a drug addict and went through 3-4 husbands (at last known count) and I have not seen or heard from her since my mother died 20 years ago. (She drove to California from Texas to gather up everything of value my mother owned!)

My younger (6 years) half-brother Duke blamed my step father's death (at 47 years of age from cirrhosis of the liver) on our mother and left to join the navy at 16 and I have not seen or heard from him in 35-40 years.

My younger (3 years) sister was born in the hospital where my mother was admitted under my aunt Rita's name and insurance and raised by she and her husband, my biological father's brother as their own child.
The summer I turned 15, she (My "cousin") came North to visit and she and I developed strong feelings for each other. Luckily, we never went beyond becoming "Kissing Cousins", because, before her return home we found that we were, in reality brother and sister!

The FAMILY I have found in AA is the closest I have come to knowing what a family life is.
Although I have not attended a meeting in several years, it is comforting to know that I CAN walk into a meeting any place at any time and would be welcomed with open arms by my "family" who have shared many of my experiences on the road to recovery.

I attribute my never having married and life of solitude to my early negative experiences with "family".
I HAVE been accepted into others' families on occasion, but inevitably find myself withdrawing because I cannot accept I "belong" or that anyone could truly WANT me as a member of their "inner circle".
I hope to overcome these feelings of inadequacy someday and know the joy and closeness I see in others.